Your Relationship With Food Didn't Start With You (But It Can End With You)

Have you ever wondered where your relationship with food actually came from?

Most women assume it started with their first diet.

Or after having kids.

Or when menopause showed up and suddenly losing weight felt twice as hard.

After coaching women for more than 30 years, I can tell you something I've seen over and over again.

It usually started much earlier than that.

Long before calories.

Long before macros.

Long before anyone was trying to lose weight.

It often started around the family dinner table.

Not because your parents wanted to create an unhealthy relationship with food.

Most were doing exactly what they thought was best.

But somewhere along the way, many of us inherited beliefs we never consciously chose.

"Finish everything on your plate."

"You've been so good. Let's get ice cream."

"I was bad today."

"I have to burn this off tomorrow."

None of those comments seem particularly harmful in isolation.

But children don't learn from one conversation.

They learn from thousands of ordinary moments.

And eventually...

those moments become beliefs.

Food Isn't Just Food

One of the biggest surprises in my coaching practice is how often women begin telling childhood stories when we're supposedly talking about weight loss.

We'll start discussing protein intake or meal planning...

and suddenly someone says,

"My mom was always on a diet."

Or,

"Dessert was something we earned."

Or,

"I still feel guilty eating bread."

Different women.

Different families.

The same pattern.

Your relationship with food today probably didn't appear out of nowhere.

It was built one experience at a time.

The good news?

If it was learned...

it can also be changed.

My Own Parenting Head-Smack

I learned this lesson myself.

When my oldest son was about three years old, I thought it was adorable that he could order his own meal in restaurants.

I'd proudly tell the waitress,

"Go ahead, buddy. You tell her what you'd like."

Until I realized something.

His menu wasn't expanding.

It was shrinking.

Chicken nuggets.

Mac and cheese.

Corn dog and French fries.

Repeat.

Then one evening we had dinner with friends whose daughter was about the same age.

I watched this little girl happily eat mixed bean salad, pork tenderloin, vegetables, and fresh fruit without batting an eye.

That was my parenting head-smack.

Kids aren't born with a menu.

They're learning one.

And that realization changed the way I thought about food—not just for my children, but for myself.

One Phrase I'd Love to Retire

There's another phrase I hear all the time.

"Well...they're kids."

Usually while explaining another stop for ice cream.

Or candy.

Or a sugary drink.

And here's my gentle challenge.

I think "they're kids" is exactly why we should be helping them build a healthy relationship with food.

Because they're kids.

This is when habits are easiest to shape.

This is when "normal" is being defined.

And let me say something else that may make you think.

Sometimes...

"The kids wanted it."

...isn't the whole story.

Sometimes it's the permission slip we've quietly written for ourselves.

No judgment.

Just awareness.

Because awareness gives us choices.

Three Changes That Can Change Everything

Stop assigning morality to food.

You are not "good" because you ordered a salad.

You are not "bad" because you enjoyed dessert.

Food nourishes us.

Food connects us.

Food is part of celebrations and family traditions.

But food isn't a measure of your character.

Stop making food the answer to everything.

Celebrate birthdays.

Absolutely.

Enjoy holidays.

Without question.

But ask yourself...

Does every happy moment have to revolve around food?

Sometimes the greatest reward is simply spending time together.

Become the example you wish someone had been for you.

This may be the most important lesson of all.

Children don't become what we tell them.

They become what they repeatedly see.

How you speak about your body.

How you respond after eating dessert.

How you approach exercise.

How you recover after an indulgent weekend.

They're watching.

Whether you realize it or not.

The Story Can Change

Here's the encouraging part.

This isn't about blaming your parents.

It isn't about feeling guilty for things you've said around your own children or grandchildren.

It's about recognizing that every family hands down something.

Recipes.

Traditions.

Holiday memories.

And sometimes...

relationships with food.

But inherited beliefs are not permanent.

You don't have to pass along everything you were given.

Maybe the greatest gift you can give the next generation isn't another nutrition rule.

Maybe it's watching you enjoy food...

move your body...

care for yourself...

and live without guilt.

That lesson may outlast every recipe you've ever shared.

If you're ready to lose weight, improve your relationship with food, and finally build habits you can enjoy for life—not just until the next diet ends—I'd love to help.

Email me at [email protected] and let's start writing a different story together.

Because healthier families don't begin with perfect people.

They begin with one person deciding...

"It stops with me."

Resources I Know You’ll Love

Tired of feeling unsure of where to find quality supplements?

Many women navigating midlife health concerns—whether it’s energy, metabolism, bone health, or hormonal support—want to use supplements wisely but feel overwhelmed by the options available online.

That’s why I recommend Fullscript, a professional supplement dispensary that gives you access to high-quality, practitioner-grade products from brands that prioritize testing, purity, and transparency.

Instead of guessing which supplements are legitimate, Fullscript allows you to shop from vetted brands in one place, with clear information about ingredients and quality standards.

👉You can explore my Fullscript dispensary here - and don't hesitate to reach out to me at [email protected] if you need additional guidance.